i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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