Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize