its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize