sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize