I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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