it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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