sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize