So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
