He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize