How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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