operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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