Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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