And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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