Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize