Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's like heaven, but drunker
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
