Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
