I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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