I'm gonna have a badass scar
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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