I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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