Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
