i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
