Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
