That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
