We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Quick, to the slutcave!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
