if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Randomize
