my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's blow job season.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
