I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
this boner is exhausting
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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