no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
