what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
