I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize