Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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