Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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