i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
