Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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