Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
