Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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