i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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