why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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