Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize