he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
