Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
