you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
