He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
