its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
