Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
