I hate all girls vehemently.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
