ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
