Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
