is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
