Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
