If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
