i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
