super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
