She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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