I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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