I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
