he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
