She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
