You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
