hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
