no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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