I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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