He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
