1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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